I was drinking beer waiting for my friend in a bar when this gorgeous girl walked up to me.

She: Hi! How are you?

Me: Hi! I am good. How are you?

She : Great. Can I sit here? What’s your name?

Me: Rohit. And yours?

She: God.

Me (coughing in my beer mug): Which one?

She (smiling): All of them, I guess. Rolled into one.

Me: Listen, can I buy you a drink, dear lord?

She: Sure Earthling. I’ll have a beer too.

So, God and I sat comfortably on the sofa sipping beer, eyeing each other. She was a pretty God.

Me: So, God. What are you doing here on Earth?

She: Just roaming around. Checking how you guys are doing.

Me: And how are we doing?

She: You want me to answer that? All right. You guys are pathetic. I am thinking of ending your race. I am thinking of bringing the dinosaur back.

Me: Really? That is a noble thought. But we are an advanced species. We have made such scientific advancements in the last 200 years. Why would you want us dead?

She: You guys are in such awe of yourself! It’s amazing how being in awe can make you blind to everything else. Tell me something. Point out one thing in the world you would like to change.

Me: Whoa! That is a very difficult question. Hmmm. Let me try. Weapons. Remove all weapons from the world. Yes, that would be perfect.

She: Your stock markets will probably crash if I do that and half of the nations will either be bankrupt or lose their purpose of existence. Anyways, that was a noble thought human. *She smiled* What next?

Me:Β VaporizeΒ all the terrorists, I guess?

She: What about the people in the position of power who actually fund terrorism? Do you want them to be vaporized too?

Me (emptying my beer mug and ordering another) : Sure.

She: Do you even realize what you are asking for Earthling? Your whole system will collapse if I do that.

Me (realizing that she was getting quite serious) : Relax. You need another beer?

She: Yeah sure. What else?

Me: You really want me to keep going, don’t you?

She: You are angry, I can see it pulse inside you. Out with it.

Me: Okay. You asked for it. I want people to stop littering. I want the spit of a person to fly back in his mouth the moment he spits on the ground. *She giggled* I want people to respect each other’s decisions. I want freedom to express myself. I want girls to be respected. I want politicians to understand the gravity of their position. I want all the black money confiscated. I want honking to be banned. I want poverty to be eliminated. I don’t want to see a single human die of hunger. I don’t want any farmer to commit suicide. I don’t want a single child to be blinded to beg or a girl pushed into prostitution. I want all rapists to be castrated. I want peace. I want people to love this gift of life and give it the respect it deserves.

God stared at me for a while. Her beer arrived. She sipped it thoughtfully.

She: That was quite a mouthful. Now say all this in one sentence.

Me: Ummm. I would like people to be more helpful, to smile at each other, to be honest, to respect.

She: Do you understand now?

Me: Yes. Yes, I do.

She: Killing terrorists and destroying weapons will not solve your problems Earthling. They are the manifestations of decades of wrongdoings. You have to begin from the beginning. One person at a time. From here. *and she tapped her finger on my heart*

It was my turn to stare at her.

Me: Who are you, again?

She: I told you. I am God. *She gulped down her beer in one go* My second glass of beer is over.

Me: And you pick a random stranger one at a time to have a chat and drill your point?

She (smiling): No. Not one at a time. I can appear at a million places at one go. Surely you know that? And besides, I get free beer.Β 

My mobile beeped. It was a text from the friend for whom I was waiting. He was not coming.

Me: Do you want to walk?

She: Sure.

We walked for a while. The air was cool. It felt good. I slipped my fingers between hers.

Me: Can I call you sometime?

She: Of course you can. *She turned and faced me, moving her fingers on my cheek* You were my greatest creation Earthling. You can always close you eyes and call me.

With that she started walking towards the next turn.

Me (shouting as she turned the corner) : I was going to ask for your mobile number.

She smiled and turned. I ran after her. There was no one there.

I started walking towards my car scratching my head. I saw an old man walking by. I looked in his eyes and smiled. He hesitated and then smiled back.

2017-11-11T00:38:50+00:00 Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

About the Author:

Amit Sharma is the Author of fiction novel False Ceilings published by Lifi Publications in January 2016.
Amit always keeps a book and a portable reading light in his bag (much to the amusement of his fellow travellers). His other hobbies include watching world cinema, travelling, staring at hills, digging into various cuisines, cooking, listening to music, painting, blogging, making his daughter laugh and helping his wife with her unnecessary and prolonged shopping.
He is currently working on his Second novel which is a thriller.

27 Comments

  1. Indian Homemaker April 9, 2012 at 1:56 am - Reply

    πŸ™‚ I hope you win πŸ™‚ Loved your god with beer!!

    • theconjecturegirl April 9, 2012 at 2:46 am - Reply

      Me too! Enjoyed this one πŸ™‚

      • Amit April 9, 2012 at 3:36 pm

        Thanks theconjecturegirl. πŸ™‚

    • Amit April 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm - Reply

      Thanks IHM. Fingers crossed. πŸ™‚

  2. karishma April 9, 2012 at 3:03 am - Reply

    amit, am a silent reader of your blog but have to come out this time and say this post is the most imaginative, creative and smartest entry in this contest…may the best win πŸ™‚

    • Amit April 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm - Reply

      Thanks karishma. I really feel happy when a silent reader comes ahead and comment. πŸ™‚ I am glad that you liked it and hope you will continue reading my blog. πŸ™‚

  3. Asif April 9, 2012 at 3:23 am - Reply

    You’ve got a winning post for the contest Amit, all the best. Very well written and markedly different from other posts that I have read on Indi for the contest. Its fun to read and conveys the message perfectly.

    • Amit April 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm - Reply

      Thanks Asif. Well, let the best post win. I have kept my fingers crossed. πŸ™‚
      I am glad that you liked it.

  4. Ashwathy April 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm - Reply

    That’s a clever bit of innovation used here….and I love it πŸ™‚

    • Amit April 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm - Reply

      Thanks Ashwathy. πŸ™‚

  5. perceptionsofaconfusedsoul April 9, 2012 at 5:58 pm - Reply

    Oh my God… this was BRILLIANT πŸ˜€ … i absolutely LOVED IT.. woot woot you got lucky Earthling πŸ˜‰ .. Well-written post…

    All the best πŸ™‚

    • perceptionsofaconfusedsoul April 9, 2012 at 6:01 pm - Reply

      Oh my God… this was BRILLIANT πŸ˜€ … i absolutely LOVED IT.. woot woot you got lucky Earthling πŸ˜‰ .. Well-written post…

      All The Best! πŸ˜€

      You can visit me on- perceptionsofaconfusedsoul.blogspot.com

    • Amit April 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm - Reply

      Hey thanks. πŸ™‚ I am glad you liked it.

  6. Reema April 10, 2012 at 1:43 am - Reply

    Great entry for the contest!! reminded me of the concept of the movie Pay It Forward.

    • Amit April 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm - Reply

      Thanks Reema. Haven’t heard of this movie. Will try to find it and watch.

  7. Maddie April 10, 2012 at 3:40 am - Reply

    Cheers!! May you win πŸ˜€

    • Amit April 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm - Reply

      Thanks Maddie. πŸ™‚

  8. Sampath Cool April 25, 2012 at 2:37 pm - Reply

    Really unique entry..I enjoyed reading it..Nicely written & best creativity seen among all.
    Well done yaar..cheers for the article :).
    Also Check out mine.Give your comment on it.
    Are Hijra’s(TransGender) not a Human being.?

    • Amit April 26, 2012 at 6:01 pm - Reply

      Thanks Sampath and welcome to my blog. πŸ™‚
      I will definitely check your post.

  9. The British Asian Blog April 29, 2012 at 5:01 am - Reply

    Brilliant my friend, made my day.

  10. Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan May 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm - Reply

    loved the creativity in this.. wonderful post.

    • Amit May 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      Thanks Dr. Roshan. I am glad that you liked it. πŸ™‚

  11. Destination Infinity May 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm - Reply

    It’s creative for sure, but if only everyone thought like this…. the world would be a better place?

    Destination Infinity

    • Amit May 8, 2012 at 1:53 am - Reply

      Thanks DI.
      Yes, hopefully. πŸ™‚

  12. Wanderer June 27, 2012 at 5:13 pm - Reply

    And you hit on God? Haven’t you learned Indian culture and how great it is? And how Gods are only to be feared and not loved? Sigh!
    Lovely story. Enjoyed each bit.

    • Amit June 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm - Reply

      Well, God is not supposed to be a girl drinking beer. πŸ™‚
      Thanks Wanderer. πŸ™‚

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