Children, the ultra energetic innocence on two feet, scare me at times. I do not have a child of my own, not yet, although the clan is raising its voice vociferously from the last few months.

My sister-in-law came from USA for a month to spend some time with voltage fluctuations, power cuts, scorching heat, dust and the family. The trauma is yet to end but I am sure she is looking forward to it. With her came her two sons. Lets call them PR (6 years old) and PA (2 years old).

PR is the sensible one as you can make him sit quietly by switching on the television and hurriedly tuning in to cartoon network. PA is a different story all together. Let me add that PA is the cutest kid I have ever seen and I love to throw him up in the air and catch him, but what really puts a smile on my face is his vocabulary. I have seen parents having serious conversations with two year olds and I used to give them bah-crazy-people looks, but PA somehow changed my perception. I thought of writing this post mainly to remember him as he is now, freezing him in time.

Addressing the Family

Nani, Mamma, Bhaiya, Maasi, Aunty, Didi are the words PA could speak with dexterity. The problem was with Uncle – the word he used to address me. It came out as ‘Ikon’ and somehow I had to stop myself for a few days from turning around on the roads and see if a FORD IKON just passed by when he addressed me. He added another mind twister in his kitty when he started addressing my sister as A.C. Didi. How my sister turned into an air conditioner is still a mystery.

The Double O

A lot of words PA utter end with a OO, examples being – BooBoo (which means that he has hurt himself and he is going to cry very soon), DooDoo (milk, for obvious reasons), TooToo (a broken thing). The other day, PA banged his head on the door and incidentally there was a red pen mark at the exact spot. He spent the rest of the day BooBoo-ing and putting his finger on his head and the red mark convincing us that that was his blood and he was badly hurt.

Car (r rolled), Maar (r rolled), Baar (r rolled) and Pyaar

You buy him a car and the first thing he will do is to take the rubber tyres off. Piss him off and he will make a very dangerous face and raise his left hand to his right side. Just before the punch will land on your face, the word “Maar” would be uttered, giving you a very small window to defend yourself. As far as Pyaar goes, he has a hair (women only) fetish. All of a sudden, while playing, he will take Geet’s or AC Didi’s hair in his hands and smell them. The expression on his face is quite similar to what the girls have in those AXE advertisements. And when he is hell bent to go out of the house, he will keep saying “baar” and bring your clothes and shoes so that you hurry up and do not waste his time.

Play Lea and Tuys

Both PR and PA are crazy for Play Lea (Play Area) and Toys. Go to a mall and leave them in a play area and you can shop all day. PA will go quietly and sit in a toy car for the whole time. He somehow enjoys the madness of a play area by just observing it and tsk-tsk-ing the children jumping needlessly around him.

That is PA, sitting in his car in the play area and trying to understand why everyone around him is jumping.

Taap Taap on Ipone and Pone Neena

I am surprised at times how children are so quick with gadgets. PA just needed one lesson from me on how to unlock the Iphone and play games. He somehow loves Tap Tap revenge (which he calls Taap Taap), Need For Speed (Carr), Tom the Cat (he loves hitting him and then giving him some milk). He would not eat his food till the Ipone is in his hand. And weird as it might sound, but he loves to watch his own videos and chuckle loudly – the activity which is judiciously used by my Sis-in-law to put a large chunk of food in his mouth.

Finally when he has played for a long time, I have to take the phone from him and tell him that now it is the time for the phone to sleep (Neena). I even put a pillow under the phone and a sheet over it to make sure PA gets it. He taps the phone gently till it goes to sleep.

Ellooooo and Powwwerrrr

The moment PA wakes up in the morning, he flashes all his teeth and hug you with a Ellooooo (Hello). He has a habit of saying hello every time he peeks in and enters a room. He has to say hello to whoever is there on the other end of the telephone and then he goes aaii-aaaii-aaii. Powwwerrr (Power) is any superhero. Whether he is wearing a T-Shirt with Batman, Superman or Spiderman on it, they are all Power.

Peepee, Poopee and more Poopee

PA is still a diaper boy. You should see him doing Poopee in his diaper. Anyone who is not used to the strained, red, angry face might think he is trying to move the dining table. And if you try to change the diaper before he thinks you should change it, he makes a duh-I-am-busy-here face and simply says – more poopee.

Sometimes when Pone Neenaa doesn’t work, I have to tell him something like – Pone Poopee. It works at times.

There are so many more words in his vocabulary but this post is getting really long. His innocence tugs at my heart and I will miss him and PR when they go back to Amrika. PR needs an entire separate post because of the number of queries he has asked me about Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer. I think I have answered each one of them 10 times but he loves to ask questions.

Anyways, what really makes me sad is that the next time I see him, PA might not be this funny kid with this funny vocabulary, but then, sadly, we all grow up. No matter how tired I feel after spending a day with them, I crack up the moment PA enters the room, say Elllloooo, start smelling Geet’s hair, hug her and say – IPone?