When you start believing that life can’t get worst, it suddenly does.

This is what how an experience like Tashan can be summed up after watching movies like Race and U Me Aur Hum. Race at least had a constant oomph factor oozing out of each frame and an over-doze of twists and turns to make it watchable. Tashan looks like a mockery of the Indian audience, if nothing else. It made me believe that the Indian directors take me as a chimpanzee who will watch anything shown to him with great amazement and awe.

The movie revolves around four characters – Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan) who is a call centre executive and who learns to fire/dodge bullets as easily as someone learns to brush, Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) who works for Bhaiyyaji and who breaks into a sizzling hot number in a bikini just before submerging her father’s ashes in water, Bachchan Pandey (Akshay Kumar) who is a small time gangster and completely incapable of saying I love you to his lady love and finally Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor) who is a notorious gangster hellbent on learning English and kills people with any sports equipment he can lay his hands on.

Tashan is an onion of problems. You can peel off layers and layers of them. Jimmy is so naive that he can’t make out that something is wrong when he sees a bag full of money fall off Pooja’s hands. Bhaiyyaji is one of the most irritating characters in the history of Indian Cinema and Anil Kapoor could have been nominated for the Indian Razzies, if they could have existed. Pooja is called a “bitch” so many times in the movie that Kareena’s grandchildren would be really embarrassed if they ever happen to watch the movie.

Tashan does not have a story. It seems like a rip off from Roop Ki Rani Choron Ka Raja, specially in the climax. And, oh yes, you would have to be really strong to bear the climax. Its the ultimate patience test ever created by Bollywood. The fight sequences are hilarious as you would have never seen heroes dodge so many bullets or jumping like a monkey on walls or ending up riding a water scooter in a gutter(kind of). Its unbelievable and sheer torture. Its amazing how our stars agree to do such scenes.

I would have rated the movie 1 out of five, but I would add another 0.5 for Kareena who is looking sizzling hot in all the scenes. Your heart would definitely skip a beat while watching her dance in “Chaliya” and “Dil Haara”. This 0.5 addition to the rating is also because of the comic scenes between Saif, Akshay and Kareena. Atleast they managed to make the audience laugh, even if it was ephemeral. And, yes, if you are going to watch the movie to see the latest hot pair of Bollywood in action, then forget it. Kareena is paired opposite Akshay and her love story with Saif ends in a blink in the first half.

An appeal to the director Vijay Krishna Acharya – Please come out of the mindset that Indian audience can’t digest a movie without over the top comic characters (like Anil’s) or fight sequences straight out of Marvel comic strips or without the thin waistline of the heroine on display. We are tired of giving the proof time and again, that we are ready for sensible and serious cinema.

One last word – After watching Tashan, I believe that Race should be sent for the Oscars.

Rating – 1.5/5

Director – Vijay Krishna Acharya

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About the Author:

Amit Sharma is the Author of fiction novel False Ceilings published by Lifi Publications in January 2016. Amit always keeps a book and a portable reading light in his bag (much to the amusement of his fellow travellers). His other hobbies include watching world cinema, travelling, staring at hills, digging into various cuisines, cooking, listening to music, painting, blogging, making his daughter laugh and helping his wife with her unnecessary and prolonged shopping. He is currently working on his Second novel which is a thriller.

36 Comments

  1. Roop Rai April 27, 2008 at 4:12 am - Reply

    Kareena? Hot? ARe you kidding me? ANOREXIA is the word, darlin. πŸ™‚ agree with the rest of the review. πŸ™‚

  2. riddhima April 27, 2008 at 8:42 am - Reply

    WTH!!!! 😑 is it worser then Jhoom barabar Jhoom??????? coz JBJ is d worst Yashraj movie seen by me!!! I think Yashraj thinks that ne movie with a few Top actors, sizzling locales and hot bods is more then enough to make their films a hit!!!! n BTW mister Amit i agree with d above comment ki Kareena looks anorexic nt HOT!!! 😑 I expected more 4m some1 like Akshay and Anil Kapoor yaar 😳 Chalo one more sh** film 4m Yashraj…. :mrgreen:

  3. Ruhi April 27, 2008 at 9:18 am - Reply

    Amit, I walked out of the theater during interval. It was THAT horrible. And Kareena looks anorexic. No butts, nothing! She looks freakin’ ugly. She really needs to eat something. The movie was too loud, had no plot…what a waste of time and energy πŸ™ I watched a Hindi movie here in the theater for the first time (because as it is I hate Hindi movies); I don’t think I’m going to go again.

  4. lallopallo April 27, 2008 at 9:34 am - Reply

    Iam surprised that you have the time and the energy to watch/endure such movies..
    What else were you expecting from this movie?

  5. Nita April 27, 2008 at 11:24 am - Reply

    Whew, thanks Amit! Wild horses will not be able to drag me for this movie!

  6. Amit April 27, 2008 at 12:36 pm - Reply

    @Roop Rai, @Riddhima, @Ruhi : Man!!!! Don’t talk about Kareena like that. Cummon, I love her. Doesn’t that mean anything to you??? πŸ˜€

    @Riddhima : Yes its worst than Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. But you can watch this movie if you want to test your patience and sensibilities. πŸ˜€

    @Ruhi : How can you leave the movie midway?? That too after you have spent money on tickets. *Gasps in horror* Ok, I know it was really bad, but then you can always make fun of such movies and laugh with your friends in the theatre. No??

    @Lallopallo : I was not expecting much, but Ruhi was expecting it to be a very good movie. I just went to see Kareena. πŸ˜€

    @Nita : You are always welcome. And how was the trip??

  7. Ashish April 27, 2008 at 2:39 pm - Reply

    Okay, this review tells me that my blanket ban on hindi films doesn’t need to be lifted. πŸ˜›

  8. Prax April 27, 2008 at 3:34 pm - Reply

    Wow, i really liked ur review …
    come to think of it , its
    more amusing than the movie that u have so described,

    On kareena or weird anorexia
    Sorry amit – im on the other side of the fence
    gosh i really miss madhuri

    Fully agree with lallopalo and nita –
    dude i didnt even know it was released
    im now seeing classics of cinema
    will mostly post on them

  9. arvind April 27, 2008 at 3:58 pm - Reply

    i need to stop watching ur reviews or the hindi cinema πŸ˜›
    for now let it be the movies πŸ˜€
    good write up though ..u convince me everytime i read ur review that it would be the biggest mistake if i watch the current bollywood movies..

  10. Sujoy April 27, 2008 at 4:27 pm - Reply

    Here’s my review of the movie.

    http://oneknightstands.net/movie-review-tashan/

    Just in case you wanted to know how crap it is.

  11. Ruhi April 27, 2008 at 6:54 pm - Reply

    I didn’t have the energy to laugh, Amit. I was catching my head and sitting. I felt like banging my head against the seat infront of me. How can Yash Raj Films waste money over such a movie? I can’t believe it.

    The only good thing were the trailers in the start of the movie- That Rani Mukherji starrer fairy kind of story is damn stupid. HAha…another flop.

    I might watch Sarkar Raj even though I haven’t seen Sarkar.

  12. Matangi April 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm - Reply

    and i thought AAG was the worst one!

  13. Amit April 27, 2008 at 8:29 pm - Reply

    @Ashish : Yes, my Lord. For the time being we can focus our attention on more pressing issues like the P Ministry and the Educational CD. πŸ˜‰

    @Prax : Was the review amusing? Well, believe me, I was in the mood to completely blast the movie. I somehow stopped myself from being shockingly rude. And yes, I too miss Madhuri, Juhi and Sridevi at times. πŸ™ I was not having much hopes from this movie, but one had to watch a movie in the weekend. πŸ™‚

    @Arvind : Even I am sick and tired of writing about such horrible movies. I just want to praise a movie to the skies. The closest I came to doing that was in the review of Jodha Akbar. And yes, you should give up the thoughts of watching a hindi movie for sometime. πŸ™‚

    @Sujoy : Hi and welcome to the blog. I read your review. It was quite entertaining. πŸ™‚

    @Ruhi : πŸ˜† I can imagine you doing that. Hahaha. People got so restless in the climax that they started moving out before the movie ended. What I can’t understand if Yashraj Productions is giving a go ahead to movies even without bothering to study the scripts? Do they have a lucky draw kind of a scheme? I saw the promo of “Singh is King”. It might be ok.

    @Matangi : I have not seen Aag yet. I guess I don’t have the courage. But yes I have heard from my friends in U.S. who went to see it. There were exactly 8 people in the theatre and they were all trying to figure out who the biggest fool is. πŸ˜† And welcome to the blog. πŸ™‚

  14. arvind April 27, 2008 at 10:58 pm - Reply

    i haven’t seen any hindi movie since partner and om shanti om … πŸ˜†
    not even jodha akhbar ..
    so u can guess the amount of interest in bollywood these days πŸ˜†

  15. Vijaya Bharat April 28, 2008 at 6:38 am - Reply

    After reading ur review, I just hope some of the technicians of this movie see this and think πŸ™‚

  16. riddhima April 28, 2008 at 10:39 am - Reply

    @amit
    u love kareena????? *gasps in utter disbelieving shock with mouth wide open* :mrgreen: i mean WTH!!!! @#&%#@$&!!! i dont know wat gaali i shld fill in so u can fill in watever gaali u feel is appropriate 4 her πŸ˜† kya hai usmein???? arrey yaar dropping ur clothes doesnt make u a good actor 😑 amit i expected more 4m u…. πŸ˜†

  17. Suda April 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm - Reply

    Thanks man, you saved my 30 bucks. πŸ˜€
    (I heard someone say U me or hum is bearable than Tashan?)

  18. Liju Philip April 28, 2008 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    Why watch movies in the theatre when you can watch them on the net after a week. Some kind soul is gonna upload it to one of the millions of websites somewhere.

  19. Nova April 28, 2008 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    Amit, its strange but one of my friends loved the movie so much… its one his fav… 😐

    Boy!! How can views be so different??? :O

  20. Poonam Sharma April 28, 2008 at 4:22 pm - Reply

    I would say it is public interest post. I would not watch this movie then. THis theme looks becoming of you.

    Hey, I don’t think I have received a FB request from you. At least there is no mail in my Inbox. What’s your last name?

  21. Bikash April 28, 2008 at 5:13 pm - Reply

    I hvn’t seen the movie yet but i will see it only for Babo and Saif.I want to look their on screen chemistry.

  22. Amit April 28, 2008 at 8:29 pm - Reply

    @Arvind : Om Shanti Om and Partner were quite unbearable too. I don’t remember watching an enjoyable Hindi movie since Jab We Met. πŸ™

    @Vijaya Bharat : Not only technicians but the whole crew. πŸ™‚ Kareena too. πŸ˜€

    @Riddhima : I love Kareena since her first movie. I loved her in Chameli, K3G, Jab We Met, Omkara and Aitraaz. I believe she is a good actress and its not all about her cleavage. And I liked her in this movie also but only in a few songs and some comic scenes. I hope now you are not angry. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    @Suda : And what about the 120 bucks I wasted?? πŸ™

    @Liju Philip : Well, watching a movie in a theatre is something else. Its a different kind of a thrill I guess. πŸ™‚

    @Nova : Err…Ahem!!! I guess you watch the movie yourself and decide. I hope your friend was not praising it sarcastically? πŸ˜€

    @Poonam : //I would say it is public interest post// πŸ˜† This was the best one liner in the comment section. πŸ˜† I will send you the request again. My lastname is the same as yours. πŸ™‚ But there would be a 1000 clones of Amit in FB. 😐

    @Bikash : Saif and Kareena are not paired opposite each other. They are there as a couple only for the first 30 minutes of the movie. πŸ™‚

  23. Anand April 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm - Reply

    Amit, I expected this; again πŸ™‚

    And instead of giving .5 for kareena I’d have subtracted that much.

    PS: I’m lucky again, haven’t seen it.

  24. riddhima April 28, 2008 at 10:03 pm - Reply

    @arvind
    u like kareena???? *again mouth wide open with disbelief across d face* 😑 arrey yaar she is an okie actress yaar…more in d news coz of her love escapdes.. :mrgreen: although i loved her in Jab we met…she was gr8 in dat…baaki K3G mein overact6ing thi re..n asoka mein kapde nahi the…. :mrgreen: baaki acting is strictly okie…

  25. Amit April 29, 2008 at 7:08 am - Reply

    @Anand : Even I was expecting this, but then I have to see the the movie too…just to make sure. πŸ™‚

    @Riddhima : I am very sure you meant @Amit and not @Arvind. πŸ™‚ Baaki I don’t think she was overacting in K3G. She had to play a really dumb girl and she did that. Anyways, sabke apne apne opinions hote hain. πŸ™‚

  26. Abha April 29, 2008 at 11:10 am - Reply

    oh, I have decided to not watch any movie without reading its reviews……n it seems that I’ll be saving my money!!

  27. bubbleonfire April 29, 2008 at 12:15 pm - Reply

    Nice and funny review but its damn accurate as well. But as everyone said, Kareena gets a thumbs down for Tashan. Bipasha and Katrina look like Goddesses infront of her.

  28. Liju Philip April 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm - Reply

    Watching a movie in a theatre is thrill for sure. but we need to pay 10 dollars here in singapore to watch a movie. I rather not spend that kinda money on a yashraj movie.

    I dont mind spending that 10 bucks on a Aamir Khan. He’s worth it. πŸ™‚

  29. […] I watched Tashan. Nidhi liked it. Amit didn’t. I haven’t decided yet. Saif was good. I really liked that step of his in the song “Dil […]

  30. Amit April 30, 2008 at 9:06 pm - Reply

    @Abha : A very wise decision. πŸ™‚

    @Bubbleonfire : Thanks. Well I don’t agree with the Kareena part in your comment. Can’t help it. I have to disagree. πŸ˜€

    @Liju Philip : Hmmm..the money factor. Guess I would have done the same. When you are spending so much, then you have to be sure that its worth it.

  31. riddhima May 1, 2008 at 10:50 am - Reply

    @amit
    sorry 4 dat slip of tongue upar ke comment mein…u r rite..it meant @amit n nt @arvind.. sorry…. πŸ˜₯

  32. Amit May 2, 2008 at 10:33 am - Reply

    @Riddhima : Hehehe. Its all right. I knew you meant to write my name. Main to bas taang kheench raha tha. πŸ˜›

  33. Mozack May 2, 2008 at 7:22 pm - Reply

    bhai kai baar to movie se bada aapka review hota hai … par movie ki tarah boring nahi hota

  34. Amit May 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm - Reply

    @Mozack : Believe me, ye bahut chota hai. Aur are you sure ke tune poora padha hai?? πŸ˜›

  35. Vibhash May 6, 2008 at 5:56 pm - Reply

    agreed with every bit of it but the kareena looking hot comments…

  36. Amit May 7, 2008 at 12:07 am - Reply

    @Vibhash : Thanks for the comment. πŸ˜€ And about Kareena, most of the people don’t agree with me. What to do?? πŸ˜€

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