So…Diwali came and went and all I got was one lousy holiday. Life, it seems, is running faster than I can fathom. A day after Diwali, I got an invitation to view a Picasa album of a friend who is in US of A. She was there with me in Chennai from the last two and a half years and was lured by Uncle Sam at almost the same time when I was being sucked into the whirlpool of Delhi. In the Album, she was performing the evening Diwali Puja with her new friends. Many of my friends who were there in Chennai with me are in USA right now and I am used to watch such Picasa slideshows in which they are standing and laughing with strangers in strange lands, but this Diwali slideshow left me with a slight tinge of envy.
No, I am not unhappy because I am still waiting for an overseas assignment which seems to be too difficult to grab and which my friends got served on a golden platter AND which, God might just throw at me after sucking and chewing out every ounce of hope from my heart. No, I am not unhappy because I wish to see the world through my own eyes rather than through some bloody Discovery channel AND I know that God might just grant this wish after trampling it under his feet. Yes, I get everything in life….when I don’t want it anymore…when I am done lusting after it.
Anyways, the point is that, I felt slightly envious(and nostalgic) because I went into flashback when we were all together and had such good time back in Chennai. And now I see them having a good time with strangers. Once I was there in all those slideshows but now I am not there in any of them. Sometimes I feel like a part of those scenes in the movies where the hero is dancing with his servant and thinking about his lady love AND then Voila!! The servant is replaced by the love of hero’s life. Its as if, I am watching a slideshow of the pictures of the great time we had together and then suddenly I start disappearing from the pictures one by one till am not there in any of them. Hoodwinked by God and replaced by strangers.
But, then come to think of it, isn’t this the story of our life? Just take out all your photographs of past 10 years and have a look at them. You will realise that in all of them, you are standing at one place while the people around you keep on changing. You are the center of your Universe. You are not moving. Its the Earth that is moving around you, bringing new faces to stand besides you. You are hoodwinked out of a slideshow so that you become a part of another one, but the point is that, you are ALWAYS a part of one of them.
So, yes, I was envious, but then I smiled. Life always come up with its own set of surprises. It never stop amusing you. The way it unfolds is what makes it beautiful. Yes, you can’t get back what just passed you by and you can’t fight the absence of a person or an unfulfilled dream but then you always have those slideshows…the portals to your past and your past’s present.
And GOD, well, I think he is just a child spoilt silly by all of us. 🙂