dostana

I think I am getting old, because the people around me were laughing and enjoying the movie while I was yawning like a hippopotamus(I almost took a nap in the second half). Is this what happens when you are exposed to world cinema and have a yardstick to compare? Or am I seriously getting old!!! πŸ™

Β 

Dostana is a story set up in Miami where Kunal (played byΒ John Abraham) works as a fashion photographer (Although for the first 20 minutes, I was in an illusion that he was playing a model), Sameer (played byΒ Abhishek Bachchan) is a “male” nurse (Although he keeps on telling everyone that he is a nurse and everyone in turn keep on asking him whether he wears a skirt to work. He never uses the word MALE nurse!!) and Neha (played byΒ Priyanka Chopra) works for a fashion magazine. Neha needs to sublet her house because she can’t afford the installments. Kunal and Sameer are in desperate need of a house but they are refused an entry in Neha’s apartment because only girls are allowed. Both pretend to be gay lovers and gain an entry. Kunal and Sameer slowly fall in love with Neha but soon enters Abhimanyu ( played byΒ Bobby DeolΒ ) who is Neha’s boss and who is in love with her too!!!! (Very Original. Ain’t it??) Who gets the girl in the end is the darn story!

In the first half there are two things which are shoved right on your face – The word GAY and John’s chest. The word has been used unnecessarily in so many places that it starts getting irritating after a while. Ok! Its great that the movie is making a point but can you please stop underlining it until the pencil breaks?? Β And what is it with John? He is hardly wearing anything in the movie! In some scenes we can almost see the line separating his two newly acquired tight bums! Again, its great that he got a Firang trainer and did a lot of hard work n all to get that physique but if I have to see a skin show, I’ll go and see something called P-O-R-N.Β 

If you are thinking that the movie is addressing any sort of serious issue, then forget it. The movie has all the stereotypical Gay cliches expected in an Indian movie. Priyanks do say something like – “I am cool with it! Its a personal choice!” and Sameer’s mother (played byΒ Kirron KherΒ ) also accepts John as her “Bahu/Damaad/whatever” and makes John perform the “Grihapravesh” and given him her “Khaandani kangan”, but that’s it! That is the extend to which the movie goes to address the issues.Β 

There is something very disjoint and unsettling about the whole movie. There are certain sequences and background sounds whose reason of existence was beyond my comprehension. For example, when Priyanka is introduced, the background music had a lady singing – “Kiss me baby!!!!”. What was that?? She was just saying hello to her new flat mates. And there is a background score which goes – What the F*ck!!! Yes, you read it right!Β 

All in all, a completely watch-it-on-dvd-later kind of a movie. It was enjoyable in parts, specially when all the three guys were trying to woo Priyanka and a few scenes where Kirron Khen andΒ Boman IraniΒ make an appearance. The music is topping the charts and is peppy – another reason to watch the movie, although the songΒ “Desi girl” is completely misplaced(There was an auction happening there. Damn it!!!). Priyanka is cool, what a Bollywood heroine is supposed to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Abhishek does his part well. John is naked.

A great story gone wasted. This movie could have been much better. But, I have a feeling that it is going to work. It will be a hit because people were enjoying it! And Oh! Yes, there was this couple(boy-girl) sitting just in front of me in the theatre, whom I took to be conjoined twins. You know, the ones who are born with conjoined heads and which can only be separated by surgery? It was only during the interval when one of them got up to get the popcorns, that I gasped in horror and realised that they were lovers and their heads could actually be separated! Β 

I am DEFINITELY getting old!

Rating – 2/5

Directed by –Β Tarun Mansukhani

Official Website –Β http://www.dostanathefilm.com/

About the Author:

Amit Sharma is the Author of fiction novel False Ceilings published by Lifi Publications in January 2016.
Amit always keeps a book and a portable reading light in his bag (much to the amusement of his fellow travellers). His other hobbies include watching world cinema, travelling, staring at hills, digging into various cuisines, cooking, listening to music, painting, blogging, making his daughter laugh and helping his wife with her unnecessary and prolonged shopping.
He is currently working on his Second novel which is a thriller.

45 Comments

  1. Vijaya Bharat November 15, 2008 at 9:04 pm - Reply

    I think u should try for a movie reviewer post at some place. This is very nice review. I am sure that u r getting old. Lets be fair man. Until when u can lie to people that u r stilllllllll young πŸ˜‰

  2. arvind November 15, 2008 at 9:06 pm - Reply

    well ..,i guess i should just download it and watch πŸ˜›

  3. pr3rna November 15, 2008 at 9:15 pm - Reply

    Thanks for the review Amit. After your views and Nita’s I am not wasting 3 hours on it.

  4. ish November 15, 2008 at 9:17 pm - Reply

    Your review is pretty similar to what Rajeev Masand from CNN-IBN said. But even he said he enjoyed the mindless comedy. Man, you’re SO getting old! πŸ˜›

  5. Reema November 15, 2008 at 9:23 pm - Reply

    U need a girl friend! She would ogle at John and u at Priyanka πŸ™‚ Nice review!

  6. Nita November 15, 2008 at 9:29 pm - Reply

    I did laugh too as I can enjoy mindless comedies but this one left a bad after taste. You’ll know that I mean. The last scene was terrible! Amit, I knew you wouldn’t like this movie at all, it’s not your type of movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if it is a hit either, but then we can’t assume it’s a hit because it’s a funny movie. I think if it is successful it will be because of the three stars. And don’t forget John’s bums!

  7. Su November 15, 2008 at 11:56 pm - Reply

    u ain’t getting old dude… the world is getting weird, perhaps, boldly weird! πŸ˜›
    as i ask it to all… is the movie worth watchin for Priyanka?

  8. Arpit November 16, 2008 at 12:12 am - Reply

    i am not really in a mood of watching this movie ( though its hard to miss karan johar flick) ……….but your review said it all πŸ˜›
    and by the way there was so much of hoopla about the film throwing light on gay related issues but it seems it turned out into a stereotypical view and with one sentence //β€œI am cool with it! Its a personal choice // they thought all justice was done !

  9. Whacky November 16, 2008 at 12:50 am - Reply

    Lol .. nice review
    and i’m sure u are getting older in a mature way πŸ˜‰

  10. Perx November 16, 2008 at 1:06 am - Reply

    As i always say.. what can u expect when it has come to a time where singh is kinng was a blockbuster… and i timed.. there was at least a gap of 30 minutes between 2 laughs..
    man i think i’m getting old too… i guess i need to find my conjoined twin to take to the movies πŸ˜›

  11. amreekandesi November 16, 2008 at 2:54 am - Reply

    Nice review. Good to see that i am not the only one sick of john abraham and his lack of clothes.

  12. sulz November 16, 2008 at 3:51 am - Reply

    i hardly ever read movie reviews, especially of bollywood ones since i don’t know much about them but you got me suckered into this, hehe. if we were both at the movies we might be chased out cos we’d be exchanging really bad jibes about the movie! πŸ˜› it really does sound quite bad.

  13. Shefaly November 16, 2008 at 4:24 am - Reply

    @ Amreekandesi

    Methinks you are just jealous of a man who can spend all his time showing his pecs πŸ˜‰ And get paid for it.

  14. Gurpreet SIngh November 16, 2008 at 10:33 am - Reply

    Great Review I Enjoyed it Very Much Keep it Up and Come with New Movie Reviews When Ever new Releases

  15. Smita November 16, 2008 at 11:17 am - Reply

    Saw the movie yesterday and I belonged the group of chuckling and laughing people πŸ™‚

    I enjoyed the 1st half, 2nd half was a bit slow but overall I liked the movie….

  16. Liju Philip November 16, 2008 at 12:34 pm - Reply

    All Johar, Chopra, Barjatya, Ghai movies are a waste of money. Just download them off the net and watch. The only thing you waste is time.

  17. Amit November 16, 2008 at 10:18 pm - Reply

    @Vijaya Bharat : Hehehe! Yah sure! πŸ™‚ Thanks anyways! πŸ™‚

    @Arvind : Yeah! Good idea!

    @Pr3rna : Hmm…maybe you should watch it just to see if our reviews are correct or not! πŸ™‚

    @Ish : Is it? I had no idea! πŸ™‚ I did not enjoyed it at all!!

    @Reema : Sigh! maybe! Thanks! πŸ™‚

    @Nita : Yeah, I know! I thought I would like it but I didn’t. I don’t know why but all the Dharma productions have a very similar treatment even though they are made by different directors!
    And I know, now a days, anything works! I should have watched Dasvidaniya instead…

    @Su : I have never understood the concept of watching a movie for an actor. So can’t answer your question! πŸ˜›

    @Arpit : They have just used the concept. The movie which was actually made on this issue was “My Brother Nikhil”.

  18. Amit November 16, 2008 at 10:19 pm - Reply

    @Whacky : Thanks. Yes, I hope so too! πŸ™‚

    @Perx : Oh! Singh is King! I have still not come out of the trauma completely! Yes, we do need to find our twins. That way we could do “other things” to pass time in the theatre! πŸ˜›

    @Amreekandesi : Thanks. Not just John, but there are plenty of them. I can understand when the script demands it but when its just to “show off”, they it really puts me off! πŸ™‚

    @Sulz : Hahaha! I didn’t know it was that good! πŸ˜› Yes, it was aweful!

    @Shefaly : Not only his pecs, but this was the first time when a Bollywood movie had the hero sliding down his underwear to show his butt. He did that thrice! Aaaarrrghhh!!!!

    @Gurpreet : Thanks!! πŸ™‚ Yes, I would as much as I could! πŸ™‚

    @Smita : Okkk!!! You are a part of the majority! πŸ™‚

    @Liju : Well, I won’t say that! There was a time when they were making good movies but I don’t know what happened suddenly.. πŸ™

  19. mitesh November 16, 2008 at 11:19 pm - Reply

    hi
    nice review ,from trailers only i knew its ok movie not worthwhile wasting 3 hours.
    after reading review i am happy that i followed instinct

    see you later
    mitesh

    http://realityviews.blogspot.com/

  20. Su November 17, 2008 at 1:00 am - Reply

    neither did i do it till all movies started playing bakwas for entertainment… this one is exception coz, a few reviews i read said the movie was not so good… so thot of ogling at Pri at the movie instead of watchin the movie itself… πŸ˜‰

  21. Oxy November 17, 2008 at 4:02 am - Reply

    Hahaha…. Isn’t it? Ain’t it? Wasn’t it? WON’T IT? ….:):)

  22. amreekandesi November 17, 2008 at 7:49 am - Reply

    Shefaly – That wouldnt be a big concern. I have a 4 pack going myself πŸ˜‰

  23. Sakhi November 17, 2008 at 10:22 am - Reply

    Cool review and since i havent seen this one yet, i will definitely watch it on DVD.

    And you yawned like a hippo???? 😯 i mean in you avatar you hardly look like a hippo’s thigh πŸ˜› πŸ˜› (bad humour?? ok, sorry!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜› )

    πŸ™‚

  24. abha November 17, 2008 at 1:04 pm - Reply

    wow man!!! your review was great…………….but i jus can’t believe that Karan Johar’s movie is so below the 5. ah!! what’s happening to bollywood…………..weirdest of things are being made n then we feel are we old!!! — ha..!
    “John was naked” made me laugh out loud……………….!!
    i think i’ll drop watching it…..!

  25. Chirag November 17, 2008 at 2:49 pm - Reply

    Me too getting old, looks like Karan Johar’s weak adaption of β€œI Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry”, can’t they even make a original crappy movie. Anyways I think if daddy has left so much money you can throw it away of crappy movies.

  26. Priyank November 17, 2008 at 4:52 pm - Reply

    We had too much of female flesh on display. Nice to see some males too. Thats it. I will wait for the DVD πŸ˜›

  27. Rajneesh November 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm - Reply

    i guess both of the things are correct … you are definitly getting old and movie is also not good.. movie has some sense of comedy only in parts but thats it .. nothing else.. and amit you are for sure getting older .. ther is no question about it …hehe

  28. Amit November 17, 2008 at 9:02 pm - Reply

    @Mitesh : Thanks. πŸ™‚

    @Su : Hmmm….you know, you should watch some good English movies instead! πŸ˜›

    @Oxy : The answer to all your questions is – No! πŸ˜›

    @Sakhi : Thanks! πŸ™‚ I’ll make a video while yawning and show it to you! Then you will know what I mean! πŸ˜›

    @Abha : Thanks. πŸ™‚ Even KANK was below 5!! πŸ™‚

    @Chirag : Was it? I haven’t seen the movie! The format of all Dharma Productions is the same. Even if Karan makes “Jai Santoshi Ma”, he’ll make it like “Kuch Kuch hota hai”. 😐

    @Priyank : Oh No no no. Its not nice at all! Especially when the male pushed his underwear down to show his butt!! πŸ˜›

    @Rajneesh : Thanks for the confirmation! πŸ˜›

  29. Dinesh Babu November 17, 2008 at 11:03 pm - Reply

    Your review is very good, but then as you said the movie is bad I am not gonna be watching it (as if I would have had time to watch it otherwise, My backlog is several years. I just finished watching Oceans 13, Order of phoenix and Pirates at worlds end). John seems to be the next get Salman khan.

  30. prax November 18, 2008 at 3:45 am - Reply

    Poignant and very readable,
    ur review is great!

    A man skin flick from a producer rumored to be gay
    an interesting hatke for bollywood

  31. Tania November 18, 2008 at 9:39 am - Reply

    You should not just watch the main stream candy floss movies.U R REALLY GETTING OLD.Even an enjoyable atmosphere didnt make u feel relax and enjoy a movie with popcorns & drinks…My friend I suppose Dasvidaniya is a better optin for you(With due respect to that movie…..Vinay Pathak is definately in my list of fab)

    last Verdice:-

    U R SERIOUSLY GETTING OLD

    U R SERIOUSLY GETTING OLD

    U R SERIOUSLY GETTING OLD

  32. A November 18, 2008 at 6:00 pm - Reply

    Your review just made my prejudice about these contemporary wholesomely-skewed-cardboard-character-based-chick-flicks even stronger. I just can despise them any more! There’s a limit to being feather-hearted and ignore any cinematic blunder in such movies.

  33. Amit November 18, 2008 at 9:54 pm - Reply

    @Dinesh : Thanks. πŸ™‚ I haven’t watched Ocean 13 too and I have atleast 100 movies lying with me waiting to be watched! When will we ever get the time! πŸ™ Next Salman Khan? I don’t think so. Salman could act a little bit…

    @Prax : Thanks. πŸ™‚ Yes, very hatke indeed. But I think if Karan should have made it himself, it would have been better.

    @Tania : Whoa!! Lady!! Writing something thrice in bold won’t change my opinion. And everyone is entitled to one on our planet. So chill!
    Are you an Ekta Kapoor’s fan by any chance?? The way you ended your comment made me think so.

    @A : Yeah! Even I am sick and tired of them. That is why movies like “A Wednesday” are such a refreshing change!

  34. Reema November 18, 2008 at 10:14 pm - Reply

    Whoa! John exposes his butt thrice????? Ughhhh! Sheeshh! I m so not watching this semi porn movie.

  35. Amit November 19, 2008 at 9:52 pm - Reply

    @Reema : Yeah almost! πŸ™‚ Well…if I see it from your point of view, you should have gone – John exposes his butt thrice????? Woww!!!!! πŸ˜›

  36. Ava November 19, 2008 at 10:09 pm - Reply

    Good thing about sucky movies is that you get to read some really funny reviews. hehe.

  37. Withering Willow November 20, 2008 at 10:08 am - Reply

    I haven’t seen the movie yet. For a change male artists are shedding their clothes… so one watch can be afforded! πŸ˜‰

  38. dinu November 21, 2008 at 8:34 pm - Reply

    It was really boring … I stopped watching half the way ( I was watching it online πŸ˜‰ )

  39. Amit November 22, 2008 at 6:32 pm - Reply

    @Ava : Yeah! There is always a silver lining. πŸ˜‰

    @Withering Willow : Huh!!?!!! πŸ˜†

    @Dinu : Good!! Because in the second half you would have certainly dozed off! πŸ™‚

  40. Vijaya Bharat November 22, 2008 at 11:37 pm - Reply

    I watched that movie on the same day you posted the review but not able to post my comment till now. What the hell happened to Abishek. Why he did so nonsensical role ? For Karan Johar ? His acting also irritated me. If Priyanka is not there in that movie, I might have used bad words everywhere when ever I mention about this movie. I like Priyanka for her eyes because I think her self confidence can be seen in her eyes πŸ™‚ Any way why cant Karan Johar makes it public as in all his movies I am finding this kind of stuff. I think the main theme of this story was taken from the comedy part of Kal Ho Na Ho. How this became hit ? Are there no other movies in Hindi right now ?

  41. Amit November 23, 2008 at 11:16 pm - Reply

    @Vijaya Bharat : Hahahaha! πŸ˜†
    One more victim!!! πŸ˜€

  42. Vijaya Bharat November 24, 2008 at 12:14 am - Reply

    Dont be happy that much. U r the first and spent money to become victim πŸ˜‰ Atleast I am safe money wise πŸ™‚

  43. Amit November 24, 2008 at 10:14 pm - Reply

    @Vijaya Bharat : yeah! every dog has his day! πŸ˜›

  44. Trailblazer November 26, 2008 at 2:50 pm - Reply

    Ha ha. Nicely written.

    Very true about the cliches. So many of them. The typical Bollywood ones. Unfortunately, i saw this one before reading your review. And hence couldn’t back off.

    πŸ™‚

  45. Vijaya Bharat November 26, 2008 at 11:43 pm - Reply

    Until u keep on posting and I am in this project surely my day won’t come when I see a movie before u πŸ˜‰

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