long_time_ago

…there lived three Gods named Amar, Akbar and Anthony.

Now this happened much before Dearth was filled with Insanes, when it was called Buxom. The three Gods were great friends and had a blast attending cloud-room dance parties thrown by Gods in the neighbouring star systems. In one such party, The Goddess of 100 hands boasted about the creatures she had created in one of the planets in her star system. Soon, other Gods joined in with similar claims. The whole conversation left Amar, Akbar and Anthony deeply embarrassed. They were like nomads wandering through galaxies and dating young goddesses. They realised that they had a status to maintain if they had to remain in the circle.

The three Gods  (Image from here

The three Gods
(Image from here)

The three of them visited the Market of Planetary System where old Gods who were too old to look after planets sold their share. They met God Dharmendra who was half dead and could hardly lift his finger. God Dharmendra was a legend, one of the most handsome gods ever. But like in all families of Gods, the second son of his first wife – God Bobby, was a notorious black sheep. Anyways, so the story goes that they bought the Klatoon System (similar to our Solar System) from him and then chose a green planet on it called Buxom to populate it with their personal creations. The three Gods decided that each of them would create life without sharing it with the other two.

“It will be like a surprise,” God Amar said.

They had realised that their casanova days were behind them and it was time to settle down and what better way than to create a planet as an ode to their friendship. Well, it was their first mistake. If they would have chosen separate planets things would have been different. They did not realise that the fact that they have been together since childhood affected their creative powers. So God Amar created Manu and Shatrupa, God Akbar created Aadam and Hawwa and God Anthony created Adam and Eve. Even though they had no idea what the other was creating, they created replicas and placed them on different parts of Buxom. The pairs were left to discover sex and reproduction on their own as it was not appropriate for Gods to indulge them.

When God Amar, Akbar and Anthony finally met and exchanged notes, they were shocked to see the similarities between their creations. At first they thought of putting them immediately on different planets but the other 27 planets of the Klatoon System were inhabitable and the Gods were not rich enough to buy more planetary systems.

“Why do we need to separate them? Let them stay on the same planet,” God Amar suggested.

“Yes. They will eventually discover each other and live like brothers,” God Akbar squealed with delight.

“Just like us!” chirruped God Anthony.

Well, that was their big fucking second mistake.

The three pairs eventually undearthed the formula to reproduce and went out of control. Soon Buxom was teeming with their children and grandchildren. It was like a chain reaction. The Gods watched Buxom from the clouds while munching Moon chips and Meteor popcorns. They never interfered but yes, they fondly gave a combined name to all their creations – Insanes (pronounced Insaan). The males were called Hinsanes while the females were named Shinsanes.

Soon, the three kinds learnt to make fire, created wheels and ships and traveled beyond their lands and came across each other. But nothing went as per planned. Each of the race believed in the supremacy of their Gods and thus began the blackest era in the history of Buxom. Insanes killed and tortured each other in the name of their Gods. They wanted to win Buxom over. They wanted only their God to be called bestest. They devised strategies to convert each other, they sent missionaries to pull people to their side, they tried to cleanse the planet by obliterating each other. This went on for hundreds of years. None of them were successful but never understood the futility of it. They created spaceships, nanobots, submarines, supersonic jets, skyscrapers, bullet trains, artificial hearts, robots but never gave up the fight to wipe out each other. The three kinds branched into a few hundred more. Things got murkier and confusing. POLs (Piece of Lands) were created (similar to countries on Earth). Eventually Buxom was renamed Dearth after all its resources were squeezed out.

The Gods sat in the clouds and watched. At first they were terrified at the turn of events but then a feeling of amusement took over. They mulled interfering but then where was the fun in that?

“I think we must study them so that we make something better later on,” God Amar said once. God Akbar and Anthony agreed.

“I do not understand why Insanes have this concept of divine intervention? That is bloody crazy. Why will the three of us try to control a billion insanes? That’s insane!” God Akbar remarked.

“Oh come on! I think they are wired that way,” God Anthony said.

So, the Gods watched. Centuries passed. Sometimes, there was hope which was then mercilessly squashed by a concentration camp or an atom bomb or a burning train or a plane flying into a building. The thought of destroying Dearth never passed the minds of the Gods. After all, it was the planetary system of God Dharmendra. Also, the mistake of creating Insanes and the events that followed had given them immense popularity amongst other Gods. Never in the history of the Universe had anyone seen something as remotely exciting as this planet. They started inviting other Gods to watch the show. They threw expensive parties in the clouds and had hundreds of Goddesses running after them. From three nondescript, nomadic Gods, they had turned into eternal celebrities. Soon they started war betting between various POLs on Dearth and won more planetary systems.

And so Dearth went around Klatoon year after year, being nothing more that a rich source of entertainment.

This was a brief history of the creation of Dearth and how it reached its current state. To know more read the following chapter – Chronicles of Dearth : The case of missing Yaun-doms

God Dharmendra with God Bobby, God Sunny and God Chewbecca (Image from here)

God Dharmendra with God Bobby, God Sunny and God Chewbecca (Image from here)

2017-11-11T00:38:17+00:00 Tags: , , , , , , |

About the Author:

Amit Sharma is the Author of fiction novel False Ceilings published by Lifi Publications in January 2016.
Amit always keeps a book and a portable reading light in his bag (much to the amusement of his fellow travellers). His other hobbies include watching world cinema, travelling, staring at hills, digging into various cuisines, cooking, listening to music, painting, blogging, making his daughter laugh and helping his wife with her unnecessary and prolonged shopping.
He is currently working on his Second novel which is a thriller.

33 Comments

  1. C. Suresh October 22, 2013 at 11:25 am - Reply

    Ah! Allegorical tales now, Amit! Superb!

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:51 pm - Reply

      Thanks Suresh. God Dharmendra blessed me.

  2. alkagurha October 22, 2013 at 11:32 am - Reply

    My God best.
    Tinged with humour, this imaginative piece hits where it should. I only hope the alleged secular minds are reading this. But moon chips and meteor pop corns are driving me crazy on a day of fasting.

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:52 pm - Reply

      Thanks Alka. I hope by now your cravings might have been extinguished by Shahi Paneer and Dal Makhani. 🙂

  3. Deeps October 22, 2013 at 12:33 pm - Reply

    ROFL! You’re a riot, Amit! Hats off to your imagination!

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:52 pm - Reply

      Thanks Deeps. 🙂

  4. Wanderer October 22, 2013 at 1:03 pm - Reply

    You have pulled it off really well 🙂

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:53 pm - Reply

      Thanks Wanderer. 🙂

  5. Jas October 22, 2013 at 1:09 pm - Reply

    Is the secular brigade reading this? Well done Amit once again.

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:54 pm - Reply

      Thanks Jas. I think they are too brainwashed to understand this.

  6. RED HANDED October 22, 2013 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    Hahahahahahahahah!!1 Your thought process is enviable!!

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:55 pm - Reply

      Thanks Red handed.

  7. mahabore October 22, 2013 at 1:13 pm - Reply

    Nice one, loved your take on how the Gods must be crazy to have created the Insanes…:D

    • Amit October 22, 2013 at 9:56 pm - Reply

      Of Course they are crazy. We are the living proof of this.

  8. Ashwathy October 22, 2013 at 11:22 pm - Reply

    Took me a moment to figure what you were referring to 😀 nice work, chap! Love the twist in usage of names!

    • Amit October 24, 2013 at 10:38 pm - Reply

      Thanks Ash. 🙂

  9. Rekha October 23, 2013 at 3:56 pm - Reply

    Man, hats off to your imagination power. Couldn’t stop laughing. 😀

    • Amit October 24, 2013 at 10:39 pm - Reply

      Thanks Rekha. 😀

  10. Priyanka October 24, 2013 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    Hi

    Awesome story. As always you educate and entertain at the same time.

    • Amit October 24, 2013 at 10:39 pm - Reply

      Thanks Priyanka.

  11. latha October 24, 2013 at 11:58 pm - Reply

    Amit, was jsut thinking the other day that it has been many days I have read a humor piece from you and lo…do you get these ideas while on the bus for two hours each way? That last pic is a highlight to the post..only God Dharmendra should be at the back…

    • Amit October 26, 2013 at 7:00 am - Reply

      Haha! I was also thinking that I haven’t written a humour post in a while.
      I am mostly reading on my bus rides but yes a lot of ideas come during that time. 🙂

  12. Ms October 25, 2013 at 3:36 am - Reply

    I am relieved that god dharmendra did not choose to populate buxom with his progeny

    • Amit October 26, 2013 at 7:01 am - Reply

      God Dharmendra had a lot many Planetary systems under him. I don’t think he bothered with Buxom ever. He was a very busy and popular God.

  13. Destiny's child October 25, 2013 at 5:33 pm - Reply

    Seems like the Gods were hung-over when they created us all. Great imagination, Amit! 🙂

    • Amit October 26, 2013 at 7:02 am - Reply

      I think they overestimated their creations. But it worked in their favour in the end. 🙂
      Thanks Destiny’s child.

  14. BhavanaDiary October 26, 2013 at 12:36 pm - Reply

    What an imagination Amit, not able to control laughter and the last picture is adding up to the shrieks. Is that your photo shop effect? uff..
    Amit you should read ‘history of the world in 10 and half chapters’ as I recommended. you will love it..
    Happy weekend..

    • Amit October 27, 2013 at 7:14 pm - Reply

      Thanks Bhavana. 😀
      No, that is not photoshopped. That is a poster of their movie called Yamla Pagla Deevana 2.
      I have added that book in my wishlist. I will definitely read it. 🙂

  15. Rachna October 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm - Reply

    This is so much fun and utterly deliciously nonsensical too :).

    • Amit October 27, 2013 at 7:19 pm - Reply

      Thanks Rachna. 🙂

  16. umashankar October 27, 2013 at 5:28 pm - Reply

    Amit, you have peers in this department. Absolutely loved the genesis of Dearth, the mother of all prequels!

    • Amit October 27, 2013 at 7:21 pm - Reply

      I preferred Buxom to Genesis but the bloody Insanes sucked it. I wish they had more sense.
      Thank you very much Uma. 🙂

  17. inducares November 24, 2013 at 6:25 pm - Reply

    Moral of the story-start something only if you are sure how it is going to end.

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