Anika will the three this year. My wife and I are about to enter a dangerous phase of our life where we will be assaulted by our relatives, their maids and drivers and their relatives to have another child. They will fall at our feet and beg to have some mercy on our only child. How will she survive? How will she face this hostile world without a sibling to come back to and punch in the nose to vent all her frustrations? With whom will she share her life? As if the rest of her family and friends will be abducted by aliens. Who will play with her? Who will support her? Who? Who? Who?

The questions will drive us crazy, as if our only child is not capable of doing that already as she enters her third year of jumping like monkeys and talking like a bunny operating on Duracell. We will smile uncomfortably, try to shrug off the question, do the we-will-see-eh routine. We are not having another child, aunty ji. Hain! Na Na son. Don’t talk like this. People used to have tens of kids in the old days. One more child will not change anything. He he! We will smile some more. We do not have the inclina…. Na Na son. Ten years down the line, you will regret your decision. I can write it down on stamp-paper. Ji Aunti ji. Grind your teeth and smile some more.

Image from here - http://www.someecards.com/

Image from here – http://www.someecards.com/

Then we will come home and throw fires from our mouth, like the Targaryen dragons. What can we do if women used to have a conveyor belt between their legs instead of a brain in their heads in the old times – we will blabber? There were no mobiles, no distractions. People used to eat dinner and had nothing to do afterwards. So they ding donged. Is it our fault? Are we rabbits? What is it that people find so hard to understand? Why can’t the aunty ji mind her own business? Hain?

But we are bad parents. We are not thinking of Anika’s future. So, all the uncles and aunties have to take charge.

The fact is that we are usually very very exhausted, not just because of her but because of our crazy work life too. She is a handful after our day spent at work. Thankfully, her grandparents are helpful angels. If someone can take charge of Anika, my wife and I can go to sleep right now and would not wake up for another six months. We are in awe of parents who even dare to bring up two children. Our one child has so thoroughly exhausted us that you can make us sit through a Himesh Reshammiya movie like a zombie and we won’t move a muscle. We will be in fact thankful that we have been asked to sit on a cushioned chair without bothering about the next meal or the next bath or the next sleep or the next poop of our child. There is no time to relax with her. There is nothing like a holiday left in our life.

Image from here - http://www.someecards.com/

Image from here – http://www.someecards.com/

Don’t take me wrong. We love Anika (especially when she is sleeping). Now that she has started talking, we like listening to her non-stop banter till it is time to watch Game of Thrones. Then we have to force her to sleep by telling her that there is a Babaji outside who will take her away if she doesn’t sleep. But the mere thought of another clone of her in the house is unimaginable. We simply cannot go through the grind a second time. The thought drenches us in sweat, installs terror in our hearts. Here we are waiting for her to grow up, so that she is capable of doing her own stuff and people are talking of a second child? Yes, they must be off their rockers.

A child is a beautiful part of a relationship but only the parents can decide if they want to have a repeat of their deadly mistake important decision. So many parents bow under the pressure every year without understanding the emotional and financial implications of it. A child’s upbringing and education is very expensive. Are you are rich like shit? Do you have any ambitions or dreams of your own or are ready to invest all your life savings for your children? I am not judging anyone. The circumstances vary from couple to couple. My wife and I have things on our mind other than stocking cash for the future of our children. Its as simple as that. And look around. Aren’t there enough babies in the world already? In a few years we will be so many that we will start falling off the Earth into outer space. I know we don’t come across ideal parents when I say all this but that is OK. You cannot please everyone. 

So, its not going to happen. But what to tell the world? Those Awww-make-another-baby people. Maybe we should just keep giving those mischievous smiles. Ji Anuty Ji. We will think about it. Yes, yes beta. That will be for the best.

2017-11-11T00:38:15+00:00 Tags: , , , , |

About the Author:

Amit Sharma is the Author of fiction novel False Ceilings published by Lifi Publications in January 2016.
Amit always keeps a book and a portable reading light in his bag (much to the amusement of his fellow travellers). His other hobbies include watching world cinema, travelling, staring at hills, digging into various cuisines, cooking, listening to music, painting, blogging, making his daughter laugh and helping his wife with her unnecessary and prolonged shopping.
He is currently working on his Second novel which is a thriller.

13 Comments

  1. Smita January 29, 2016 at 3:12 pm - Reply

    The creator, if any has blessed us with two ears… Take in through one, leave such things out the other! :).. Best way to deal with Auntyjis.. BTW, congratulations on the Novel !!

    • Amit Sharma January 29, 2016 at 3:17 pm - Reply

      Thank you Smita!
      Oh yes. I too believe in this free flow of words between my ears. We are mastering the art before the auntyjis come down at us with full force.

  2. Nisha January 29, 2016 at 7:54 pm - Reply

    Na na.. you should think right now!!
    I am so glad that people actually talk about all this. Otherwise in a world of fake Facebook pictures, we would all be led to believe that it is indeed a blessing to have your own reality show at home!

    • Amit Sharma January 29, 2016 at 10:07 pm - Reply

      We were very sure from the beginning. One and only one. And yes, it is important that people talk about this. We live in times when religious organizations are ready to pay couples money to have more kids.

  3. Ashwathy January 29, 2016 at 11:07 pm - Reply

    Yet to have my first. I am beginning to think that that is a feat in itself *smirks* NOT having one so far, that is!

    • Amit Sharma January 30, 2016 at 2:31 pm - Reply

      You are a star!

      • Ashwathy January 31, 2016 at 11:27 am

        P.S.: I was just reading your description here. You mean “staring AT hills” right? It says staring AND hills??

      • Amit Sharma January 31, 2016 at 12:07 pm

        Thanks Ash. Corrected.

  4. Richa February 3, 2016 at 8:32 pm - Reply

    Be prepared to hear sermons on the importance of another child and sibling for many-many years. We still hear it and daughter is 10 now!
    Congratulations on your novel 🙂

    • Amit Sharma February 5, 2016 at 9:45 pm - Reply

      Yes, many many years. That is the most scary part.
      Thanks Richa! 🙂 The novel is finally out and I still feel as if I am dreaming.

  5. rajlakshmi February 16, 2016 at 6:05 pm - Reply

    hehehe oh poor you… but I can totally understand that. Sometimes I even wonder if the whole existence of few aunti jis depend solely on finding the answer to when I will have kids.

    • Amit Sharma February 19, 2016 at 10:30 pm - Reply

      I think the scientific advancements mean nothing till we invent an instrument to poof the aunties out of existence!

  6. tejashree ravindrakumar April 1, 2016 at 6:37 pm - Reply

    just because our forefathers didn’t stop for 1 kid, we all have aunti jis today.. 😀 it was a fun read..

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